Forward-Thinking, Sensible Separation

The Candover Practice Separation Psychology

Separation need not only be antagonistic. Although marking an end of a chapter, it can also be the start of something new and exciting: It entirely depends on how you come to understand and think about what’s going on.

In order to help couples and families reach agreement more easily and to move on with their lives, The Candover Practice works with you to help improve the interpersonal and relational dynamics that are typically getting in the way. A lot of what we say and do, and what we hear and see (or think we hear and see), especially in times of stress, can be misleading. Most of the time, we are interacting with one another without conscious thought, meaning that we often misconstrue what another person has said or done, frequently jumping to the wrong conclusion, based on our own moods, preconceptions or expectations of how we - rightly or wrongly - think others will behave. When two or more people are all doing the exact same thing, it is no wonder that we find ourselves so often cross and confused, misunderstood and misheard, and why we so regularly observe arguments erupting out of nowhere, escalating out of control, and why reason so habitually ceases to prevail. If given the opportunity to behave amicably, and not always be positioned in separation as adversaries, most couples - even in acrimonious circumstances - prefer to move forward in ways which are more likely to achieve happiness for all than only for one (or, more usually, for none), especially when the happiness of children is at stake.

Having spent nearly a decade as a barrister, Dr. Verity Buchanan, a chartered counselling psychologist, trained and experienced in family and divorce law, mediation, custody disputes, asset tracing, forfeiture and financial settlements, has all the tools to ensure a difficult process runs as smoothly as it can. Using her expertise in human behavior, motivation and relational dynamics, together with her knowledge and experience of the legal process – and her understanding of the likely implications for you, for your children and for your finances – she will draw on systemic, psychodynamic and family therapies to help foster a frame of mind more likely to work towards a civilised separation and to find the best and most sustainable resolution for you all.

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